Some guy, ranting to his poor friend for a good 30 minutes while we waited for the last train to fill.
"But I mean, you can't like date yourself, or else I totally would!"
"Okay, do you have any drugs? Because I'm so fucking bored right now I would consider doing coke for the first time just to keep things interesting"
"So I was reading cosmopolitan online..." (followed by an anecdote about his ex-girlfriend.)